Was enjoying some peace whilst appearing offline then came across this:

I got the screenshot from a blog - I don't know who exactly the blogger is, probably someone one year my senior back in secondary school.

But anyway, it really got me thinking - I used to take my blog as a site for myself & others to be reading for remembrance or, to simply, keep track of events & then sometimes I read my archives & then start laughing at myself for having typed so much bullshit that never really made any sense.

Yet recently I find myself getting so used to typing words into that empty screen & then somewhat expecting people to read it. Then as I pour my heart out to this empty screen I slowly found myself distancing myself away from people b'cos afterall it's much easier speaking to a computer screen isn't it - well at least they don't chide you for crying while you type those words out. & then I stopped sharing my worries & difficulties to everyone else.

& recently it's been getting more frequent that people come to me & tell me to stop keeping stuff to myself & start opening up.

But then, won't you people be shunned away when I begin to cry like some motherfucker in front of you guys just like how I'm crying to my computer screen now?

When asked, "Are you okay?" I would always reply, "Yes, I'm fine." without hesitation. I always wished people they would ask again. But when they ask me again I say they're irritating. But I somewhat love it when people irritate me in this manner - then would I only know who genuinely cares.

The wonders of short hair:

After gymming, Mun Yee & I headed to wash up. After spending 10 minutes in the bathroom......

Me: Hey I'm done. Are you?

She: HUH ARE YOU KIDDING ME I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED SHAMPOOING YET!!!

LOL LOL LOL.

Niwae what's with emokids & their typical hairdo nowadays:

I combed my hair all onto my face & couldn't stand the heat after barely a minute of camwhoring. So now I know how all their pimples come about.

Do you ever feel like breaking down?

Do you ever feel out of place?

Like somehow you just don't belong

And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna runaway?

Do you lock yourself in your room?

With the radio on turned up so loud

That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like

When nothing feels all right

You don't know what it's like

To be like me

To be hurt

To feel lost

To be left out in the dark

To be kicked when you're down

To feel like you've been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one's there to save you

No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?

Are you sick of feeling so left out?

Are you desperate to find something more?

Before your life is over

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?

Are you sick of everyone around?

With their big fake smiles and stupid lies

While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like

When nothing feels all right

You don't know what it's like

To be like me

To be hurt

To feel lost

To be left out in the dark

To be kicked when you're down

To feel like you've been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one's there to save you

No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face

No one ever stabbed you in the back

You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay

Everybody always gave you what you wanted

Never had to work it was always there

You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt

To feel lost

To be left out in the dark

To be kicked when you're down

To feel like you've been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one's there to save you

No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt

To feel lost

To be left out in the dark

To be kicked when you're down

To feel like you've been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one's there to save you

No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life

The lyrics always hit me hard. I spoke to myself in those lyrics & questioned myself with all the "Do you ever"s. Seemed like all my answers were a yes.

I look around me & then I realise that everyone thinks no one understands them.

Everyone thinks no one knows how it's like to be like them.

Everyone thinks the same way about everyone else.

Everyone thinks they're different from the rest.

& so tell me, if everyone thinks they're so different from everyone else, doesn't that just make everyone the same?

Irony.

I went to the gym today WHY DO I STILL FEEL SO FAT.

Should do this like everyday hahaha.

Anyway, I just got this blogshop item today, but I can't wear it 'cos the sizing's too big. I'm posting it here hoping someone's interested?

Front

Back

Sorry I rotated the photographs but it always turns out this way when I upload it.

PLEASE DO A HANDSTAND OR TURN YOUR DESKTOPS OVER.

Description:

Black skirt with gold studs, plain black at the back with zipper (low-waist)

BRAND NEW!

Measurements:

W 28 - 30 inches; L 12.5 inches

Selling @ only:

SGD$15.00

Meet-up preferred, postage's possible but I ain't running a blogshop here so I'm not sure how the mailing procedures are like so I gotta go find out.

Interested, leave a tag or pm me at oh.shimin@hotmail.com thank you! :)

Okay so I have my last off-day tomorrow before I have hardcore work on Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday AHHHHHHHH MADNESS.

Anyway, I had the weirdest dream last night. I wanna type it down here before I forget b'cos I always forget my dreams & it's unusual how I remember this so clearly!

So it was this rainy day where I was hanging out with the usual guys - Kw, Ever, Diky...... & one of their friends who got his front inked (I think his name is Leon if I'm not wrong?)

We were crossing the road to get into some shopping mall & I don't know how & why the fuck Leon & I were sharing an umbrella but anyway as soon as we stepped into the shopping mall Leon turned back & told me to run b'cos there were people chasing us from behind the back. Then as we ran we realised that there were people chasing us from all directions then soon we found ourselves surrounded. Then those people wanted to beat all the guys up so I tried to help (I think the scene was @ Starbucks) so I grabbed an chair & smashed it onto one of those people & smashed an ashtray on another's head & he started to bleed like fuck.

Then I turned around me & then I realised the guys ran away without me (FUCK). They left me there all alone then the people took me away & told me that I had smashed the head of some motherfucking bigshot gang leader or some sort LOL. I was so fucking scared then out of nowhere my brother's friend turned up & called a bigger group down to settle the issue for me & they finally let me go home & my brother's friend told me never to hang out with Kw & friends again b'cos if they're seen at town again they'd be beaten up.

& then from then on I never dared to call the guys out again (not b'cos they would be beaten but 'cos those fuckers ran away without me) LOL.

End of dream. HAHAHA SO FUCKING WEIRD & HILARIOUS BUT THOSE WERE THE EXACT SCENARIOS LOL.

Me: Do I look better in long hair or short hair?

Shaun: I don't know 'bout that but I know so far this' the best I've ever seen.

Heeeee some sweet shit. ^^

I discovered new moles on my body since cutting my hair LOL.

Christmas was pretty bad this year but I guess Boxing Day was awesome. :)

I'm going gymming tomorrow! BYE BYE TUMMY.

& why's everyone so concerned with the Singapore Idol results? It's not like they're running for president & it's not like I give a shit about who's president anyway.

On a side note, cigarettes, alcohol & cab fares are getting me very VERY broke.

Have you ever felt like you hate yourself so much?

Have you ever had a bad habit or certain behaviour you tried so hard to kick or change but it just doesn't seem to work out?

Well, I have.

& it makes me feel like a loser.

& you try so hard to convince everyone you're trying.

& you try so hard to search for that someone who believes you, who has faith in you. Who'd stay by your side & get you through.

But everyone mocks at you.

They call you a liar.

They say you're not even trying hard.

They tell you you won't do it; you can't do it.

They bring you down.

& then all of a sudden you don't wanna strive on anymore.

All of a sudden you see no point in striving, b'cos nothing's worth the effort, nobody believes you.

& you wallow in self-pity.

& you really stop trying.

& somehow you prove those fuckers, who brought you down, right.

Some weird thing I had to wear to work for X'mas today.

I think I look like a dude.

I think I'd make a handsome one.

DON'T YOU THINK SO TOO LOL.